Do good people matter in a workplace?
I have been fortunate and blessed enough to be surrounded by wonderful people in my life - my husband, my friends and family, colleagues, teachers and so on. In this post, I would like to talk about people whom I was lucky to work with throughout my life and focus on my personal philosophy around the concept of good people.
Recently, I have been reflecting a lot on relationships in the workplace. Why do we get along well with some people and not so well with others? All my reflection, pondering different thoughts in my head, and analysis of them brought me to two main conclusions.
The first one is about our personal values. When our personal values match or are similar to those of the other person, it is easy to click with them, maybe not immediately, but certainly over time. But if our values don’t match, then it is difficult to find a common agreement and understanding unless you have a high level of EQ that allows you to understand another person’s personal values from his/her side, alongside a higher level of IQ that allows you to ignore them for the sake of work that needs to be done or carried on.
My second conclusion is about good people. It might sound simple and cliché, but I am a huge believer in good people with good intentions. In the past, I would not mention it because I have been called unprofessional, irrational and soft-thinking and blamed for being naive, emotional and thinking like a ‘woman’. But luckily, I am not the only human being who thinks this way. We can reflect on one of the richest men’s words, Warren Buffett, where he says, ‘you can’t make a good deal with a bad person’. Does it all of a sudden make more sense because he said it, rather than the same sentiment being expressed by a woman (me)? Anyway, there is a big truth in it. If someone has bad intentions, doesn’t have the other person’s best interest at heart and only thinks about his/her own benefits, then it is hard to work with this kind of person at any level and reach agreements that are favourable for both sides. Of course, they might still get ‘successful’ and achieve highly in their career, but I don’t believe they are ever truly happy and fulfilled. They certainly can’t be a respected leader whom people willingly want to follow.
Another famous example of this philosophy is by well-known (and recently for not so good reasons) Elon Musk, his saying is that
“The biggest mistake, in general, I’ve made is to put too much of a weighting on someone’s talent and not enough on their personality. And I’ve made that mistake several times. I think it actually matters whether somebody has a good heart; it really does. I’ve made the mistake of thinking that it’s sometimes just about the brain.”
As someone who worked with many different types of people with various personalities, values and from completely different cultures, someone who taught chess to hundreds of kids again with completely different backgrounds and personality traits, someone who communicated daily with different types of parents, I can assure you that ‘good people’ are what make any place worth staying. Of course, I am not saying that the fact that skills are less valuable. Not at all. What I am saying is that if I have to choose between a person who has all the fancy certifications, skill set and the best fit for the position by requirements, but doesn’t have a good heart and a person who has just enough skill set and qualification to fit the position, and has a good heart, I will always choose the latter. Because good people are good to be around. Because good people are reliable. You can trust them. Whereas a highly skilled employee with a self-centred attitude will be hard to work with less-skilled employee with a good heart will be a pleasure to work with. Skills can be learned over time. Getting to a good-hearted state as a human being is harder to achieve. By the way, it doesn’t mean all highly skilled employees are self-centred and hard to work with. Absolutely not. There are many, many people like that in the world. Someone can be highly skilled and a good person at the same time.
Since humanity started existing, we have lived in tribes and communities. We had to rely on each other to survive. We had to have other people’s interests in mind to lead, to follow and again to survive. Nowadays, the concept of community is less and less relevant because of the internet age we are living in and using online ‘communities’ instead. But even here, we rely on good people. Because life is very interesting and uncertain. Nobody has control over the future, and we never know what exactly to expect. We can plan the outcome, but we can’t ever guarantee it. That’s why we need to be kind and understanding to each other. Because at the end of the day, we don’t know in which situation we will find ourselves and whose help we will need.
The reason I am writing all this is that throughout my career, I have been lucky to work with and continue working with incredibly good people whose help, support and care are something I will never ever forget. Unfortunately, some of them have already left our team, and I wish them nothing but the best in the world. One of my colleagues, for instance, was so kind and supportive to take care of my cat for 3 months without having any specific date in mind when I could actually ‘ship’ my Dumpling (my cat’s name) to the UK from Shanghai. And when she showed this kindness to me, she was no longer working with me. But because of my personal values that appreciate and hold on to good people, I was able to carry on our friendship after she left the team. One of them supported me while I was going through my paranoid and hard times. I was struggling a lot with fear and paranoia, crying every night before going to sleep. I was living alone at that time. I asked one of my colleagues, a good man, if he could keep his phone not on silent mode so I could call him for help if I was in any danger (I was never in any danger in Shanghai, my paranoia started after my trip to Indonesia and Malaysia - I might write more about that fateful trip in another post). This lasted for a couple of months, where he supported me unconditionally by keeping his phone not in silent mode and assuring me he would answer the phone if I called him. During those times, one of my colleagues, knowing this, assured me she would follow my taxi rides online wherever I went. She would ask me every time I arrive at the destination if I feel okay and if everything is good. Of course, these people were fully aware that I was being paranoid, but they had this kind and understanding approach to my situation, so I don’t feel crazy. So I was blessed enough to work with these wonderful people. Of course, these are some small moments that I am sharing, and there are many more than that.
These are life situations I am giving, but there are many more in work settings, where with every hard decision, with every struggle, I had to work head-to-head with people with a good heart. There were a couple of times when I had to make quick decisions and change them because of how circumstances changed. I would apologise to people whose work would be affected by the change of decision I made, and receive such heart-warming replies. One of them even said, ‘Don’t worry, Turan, I trust your decisions’. Even if it sounds like a simple sentence, it means and still means a lot to me.
You might think that I mention all these things because of how these good people treated me personally, but that’s not at all. I observed and witnessed them treating everyone around them with care and kindness. This is why I was so drawn to them.
There is a saying that anyone is replaceable in the workplace. I agree with this statement to a degree. I think you can replace a skillset of a person who was filling the role, but you cannot replace the time, energy and effort put into building trust with that person. Because of the time and energy you spend connecting with each individual, the trust you build over time is not easy to start over and over with a new person. Therefore, my personal opinion is to hold on to good people, invest in them, appreciate and value them in every way possible, to make sure we can carry on working together, and let good intentions lead to lasting impact.
